Overcoming the Fear of Putting Yourself Out There

Have you ever had that heart-pounding, freeze-up moment right before you hit “post”? Or maybe you know you should introduce yourself as a coach, tell someone what you do, but you just… can’t? If you’re nodding along, feeling that fear of putting yourself out there, trust me, you are not alone, and this episode – well, this episode now – is for you.

I want to talk about how we, as coaches, can learn to feel safe being seen, because honestly, if we don’t get out in front of people, our coaching businesses just won’t grow into the dreams we have for them. We won’t reach the people we’re meant to help.

What Does This “Fear of Being Seen” Actually Look Like?

It’s sneaky sometimes! It might show up like this in your life:

• Hiding Online: Maybe you’re not posting much content, or if you do, it’s just pretty Canva templates, never your own face or voice. Or perhaps you post something amazing… and then disappear because your nervous system goes into overdrive.
• Avoiding the “Coach” Label: You meet people you know you could help, but the words “I’m a coach” just don’t come out. Networking events feel more like being a fly on the wall than making connections.
• Sticking to “Safe” Tasks: You’re busy doing things that feel productive, but maybe you’re avoiding anything that requires real vulnerability or risk, like actually pitching your services.

These are all symptoms…common signs that underneath it all, you might not feel safe or ready to truly be seen.

And here’s the tough love: if you don’t show up, your ideal clients will not find you, and all that behind-the-scenes work.

It risks being for nothing.

Let’s Get Real: Why Are We So Afraid?

If we were to do a little Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) work here, what’s really underneath the hiding, the not posting, the playing small? I suspect some of these might resonate:

• Fear of Rejection: We worry what people will think, especially those closest to us. “Who does she think she is now?” Will they reject this new version of us? Or will internet trolls say things that make us feel unqualified?
• Fear of Judgment: This was a big one for me! What if someone disagrees? What if people think we’re not qualified enough? I remember my first year on social media (which was actually year THREE of my business!), I only posted pictures of food because I was so scared of judgment. Even past experiences, like my own “Amanda Haters Anonymous Club” incident in sixth grade, can wire us for this fear
• Fear of Not Being Expert Enough: That little voice saying, “Do I really know my stuff?”
• Fear of Success (Yes, Really!): Sometimes we fear what happens if it does work. More eyes on us, more demands… it can feel overwhelming.

Listen, nobody doing what you desire to do hasn’t felt these things. I know I have, 100%. But the cool thing is, there are plenty of people who’ve built amazing things despite these fears.

Why Showing Up Authentically is Non-Negotiable Now

Here’s the deal: people are craving authenticity and vulnerability more than ever. In a world full of perfectly curated feeds and even AI content, you are what makes your brand unique. People invest in you.

We need to see you, hear your voice in your stories, feel your energy. That’s how potential clients build trust and decide if you’re the right guide for them. If your face and voice aren’t showing up, they’re missing a huge piece of the puzzle.

My Framework for Managing Fear (Let’s Practice!)

Our goal isn’t to magically erase fear; it’s about managing it so we can act anyway. Fear management is ongoing – the fear I felt getting my first client was different from the fear I felt aiming for 500 webinar attendees instead of my usual 100-200. New level, new devil, right? But we can choose to manage it or stay small.

So, grab a pen and paper if you can. I want to walk you through a practice I use, inspired by work we do in the Best Damn Coach community.

• Visualize Your Stage: Take some deep breaths. Close your eyes if it feels right. Imagine walking up a few steps onto a beautiful stage, your perfect stage. Feel the lights. You’re center stage, maybe holding a mic, ready to share your expertise. Now, picture the audience – start with 10 people, then 50, 100, 1000… keep going. Notice if and when it starts to feel sticky or uncomfortable. (If the stage doesn’t resonate, picture that many people seeing your post or joining your webinar ).
• Name That Feeling/Thought: When you hit that edge, what came up? Fear of messing up? Saying the wrong thing? Judgment? Get specific and just own it for a second. We can’t shift what we don’t acknowledge.
• Describe and Acknowledge: Journal about it. What does that fear look like? Is it a specific memory, like those mean girls at the lunch table for me?
• Shrink It & Release It: Now, take that image in your mind and shrink it way down, like tiny, postage-stamp size. Push it far away mentally. Or, talk to it: “Hey, Fear of Judgment, I see you. Thanks for trying to protect me, but I don’t need you running the show anymore. I’m ready to move on without you.” Acknowledge it, then let it go.
• Repeat Often: Do this whenever that fear pops up! Before you post, before you go live, before you network.

Choosing Faith Over Fear – Every Single Day

Here’s something powerful I keep coming back to: Fear and Faith (in yourself, in your vision) are both invisible.

You can’t see or touch either one.

But you get to decide which one gets your energy each day.

Are you pouring energy into fear, or into the belief that your message is exactly what someone needs?

Your Homework: Interrupt the Pattern & Start Small

Okay, time for action! We need to break the pattern. If your pattern is “Go to post -> Feel fear -> Pump the brakes -> Don’t post,” we need a pattern interrupt.

• Take One Small Step: Don’t aim for the giant stage yet if that’s too much. Just make the post. Go live on stories for 60 seconds. Introduce yourself as a coach at the grocery store checkout. Practice the release technique first, then do the thing anyway.
• Find Your Mantra: Create a statement that feels true or becoming true for you: “I am safe to be seen”, or “I am becoming more confident sharing my voice”. When I wanted to break my pattern of capping webinar sign-ups around 100-200, I literally made mock-up images of 500 attendees and told myself, “It’s normal to have 500 people on webinars” until it felt normal!

You’ve Got This!

Look, getting comfortable being visible is a process. There’s no finish line where fear just disappears forever. It’s about learning to manage it so you can keep taking action towards your dreams and growing your business. You can have all the strategy in the world, but if this fear is holding you back, nothing happens.